Faith, Belief, and What I Think of Religion as a Whole or Are you there God? It's me Michael.

I'm 27 years old and trying to become an accomplished artist. It's been some time since I have posted anything here, mainly because I'm lazy I'll admit, and partly because I just don't believe that my life as a whole is all that interesting or entertaining.

Not for me, but for the whole wide world to take part in. I think my life is more than a little bit interesting and wouldn't give it up for anything.

I have recently found myself single after a brief but very lovely relationship with a wonderful young woman. I had hoped for it to last longer, she made me very happy and I had tried my best to make her happy, but it was not meant to be. At least not right now. A difference in our ideas about faith and religion led to her ending our time together.

I was upset, of course, but I found myself thinking a lot about what I do believe in and why I think that way.

My parents did their best to raise me in a Christian household. We went to church early to attend bible school and sat through the sermons and, at least for myself, went through the motions of singing and listening. I had always been inquisitive, and asked a lot of questions whenever I didn't understand something or wanted to know more about something that piqued my interest. My parents bought a set of encyclopedia just so that I had something to turn to when they said "Look it up."

Church had nothing of interest for me. The sermons said a lot of things that I had already accepted as common sense. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Love thy neighbor. Live life well and put positive energy out into the world and it will come back to you. Don't lie, don't kill, don't cheat, don't steal... don't be a bad person. Of course... why would I want to be a bad person? Breaking the law had no appeal to me, and why would I want to hurt others?

This was a long time ago of course. I couldn't have been more than 10-11 years old when I realized that church was teaching me nothing. I liked to listen to the stories that the preachers would tell to bring the idea of the sermon into the real world. Sometimes though, I would be waiting for the punchline. I hope that isn't too sacrilegious, but preachers reminded me of comedians. The stories they told weren't funny, most of the time, and the morals they conveyed were just more of the same.

Now, that's not to say that church was all bad, far from it. There were a lot of nice and interesting people at church. However, in a large gathering of people, there are going to be cliques. The fact that this carries true for a place of holy gathering is really sad. We go to these places to be among the glory of God, and share in this experience with others. Yet, people will always be people, you can't ask them to be anything other that what they are. There will be rivalries, miscommunication, NO communication, misunderstanding, and ignorance. I like to think that I would be willing to give everyone a chance to say their part. I don't want to hate anyone, we all are here to share this planet and right now... this is all we have. Yet, we fight, and we hate, and their is evil in this world that just can't be understood. Faith and belief in a greater power than ourselves are big reasons for these things.

As far back as human beings have been able to question the world around us, we have been fighting each other over a difference in beliefs. From warring city states in Mesopotamia, to our current conflicts all over the  world. We could sit down and communicate with one another, compromise being the only true way to solve a conflict, but that would mean admitting a wrong doing and NO ONE want's to do that. Our beliefs and the way we see the world are so strong that to admit a wrong doing would be like admitting our own existence is wrong, and yet the sun will still rise tomorrow and the world will go on with or without us. For some reason, people as a mass entity are unable to grasp that fact. The world was here before us and will most likely be here long after we are gone, yet we fight and bicker and argue over the simplest rights that all people should be privileged too. It's astounding.

I would sooner concede that I was wrong than shed blood over something that I believed. I could leave and know that I still hold this belief in my heart despite what others would have me think. Fighting for what you believe is supposedly noble, but what does it do other than cause pain to others? Fighting to protect yourself from the beliefs of others is no more noble, it is merely survival. The sooner that we realize this fact, the sooner we can all accept that maybe we all have it wrong, and maybe we all have it right. It's not my place to say what others believe is wrong, anymore than it is for others to tell me my beliefs are wrong.

So, what do I believe? Is there a higher power out there watching us all and guiding us on a path of right and wrong? Is there a dark being who's sole purpose for being is to lead us down a path of destruction and mayhem? Does Heaven exist? Does Hell? The easy cop out answer would be that I don't know. My idea of God is completely different from anyone else's for the simple fact that I am me and everyone else isn't. No one person's idea of God can be anyone else's. Which leads me to think that God is not one sole entity that everyone prays to and listens to in their hearts and minds. My thought is that God is all of the best parts of man/woman. The joy, love, acceptance, temperance, happiness, sadness, empathy, trust, etc. that all people carry with them and are blessed with when they first come into this world are God. God is people at their best, and true miracles are the great things that we do for each other every day. Which of course leads to Satan/Lucifer/The Morning Star/The Devil any and all of these things being all the worst parts of man/woman. Apathy, anger, envy, hate, wrath, sloth, pride, etc. All of these things that we struggle with every day and try our best to keep in check. No matter how pious, or enlightened, we all must struggle with our inner demons.

Of course, what does this say about the idea of Heaven and Hell? Well, Heaven as an idea is pretty fantastic. A place where we can all go after our time on this world and bask in the radiance of The Almighty. We will get to see all of the loved ones we've lost or have left after our passing. No pain, no suffering, no hate, no anger, none of the things we have to accept as a part of ourselves that we wish weren't. A place of perfection. If I could believe that a place like that existed, how could I possibly live a happy life here while I can? To always be looking forward to something that I can't logically imagine in all of its possible glory, when I have this beautiful, imperfect world to explore and I know I won't get to see it all before I die... why would I want to do that to myself? Why can't I be happy to be among the people who are here now and share in the magic of the everyday? I love this world, and everything in it. It's imperfect, it's dirty, the people here struggle and suffer to make it through each day, there is pain, there is loss, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. The chances of me being here, on this world, in this time, writing these words are so infinitesimally small, that every second I breathe is a miracle. Why can't I be happy with that?

Hell... no, that place doesn't exist. It never has and it never will. The only Hell that we have to deal with is the one we place ourselves in. We are tightly wound balls of instinct and desire bound to a logical core of thought. We as a people carry our little hells with us everyday and yet we want to construct a Hell that is waiting for us after we die, where we will be endlessly tormented for the sins we committed? What purpose does that serve other than to torment us endlessly when we are aware of when we do something wrong? Don't do wrong. Take responsibility for your wrongdoings, when we do wrong we are perfectly aware of what we are doing. If you don't want to suffer for doing wrong, don't do it. So, what about original sin? How can we take responsibility for something we didn't commit? Being born into this world as sinners seems to go against the very idea of forgiveness and repentance that the Bible tries to teach. Be good to others, be good to yourself, and be good to this world.

This all sounds so simple, but to exist here on this Earth is the hardest thing anyone will do. Just existing from day to day is a trial and some people just aren't up to the task. All of the hardships, all of the suffering, and all of the pain that we have to endure everyday and what do each of us have to show for it once we leave this world? We each want to leave our mark and we strive each and everyday to share the world with one another and hopefully affect some change for the better. We lose our way sometimes, and some people don't make it back from the edge. Only try to touch someones life in a positive way and you will be remembered. That is why we are here, to bring others into this world and hope that we can be beacons of good and love for them, so that they can be the same for their children. We all want to be remembered, to have people know that we were here for what little time we have to each of us. Love others as you would want them to love you and you will be remembered.

That is what I think. That is what I believe. I have no illusions of being someone that will change the world, I only hope that I can change the world for someone. Isn't that a big enough goal? I want to be an artist, so I strive for that goal, but that is just a superficial goal that will help me to make it day to day. To truly make a change in this world, just aim for changing one persons world and that will make all the difference. If everyone did that, what might the world be?

Michael McClellan

Huzzah

I have not forgotten to post, I just wanted to put a bit more work into the drawing that I am working on. It's still not finished but I had to move on to something else so that I wouldn't get frustrated with it. 

What do you think? Still working on it, but I like it so far. 

I have drawrings

Wow... so I couldn't post anything earlier because this site wasn't working. Anywho I have some pieces to post, so I will do that now.

Okay, so there you have it. There will be more later.

Before I fall asleep.

This is really just a post to take up todays slot. I am building a reference folder so I have a bunch of pics to choose from when I do get around to drawing. I had to finish some final school work before I could get drawing and today has just been kinda weird. For some reason the place I pull images from is painfully slow and I ate a big dinner so I am kinda sleepy. Hopefully I have a bunch of art to show off tomorrow. Eh...

Mea charta perfectus

I don't know if the Latin is right but I finished my final paper tonight. I got an extension on the paper because the initial one for the class was... shite. This one is far and away a better paper and I am pretty happy with the result. Now that I have gotten the self gratification out of the way I will discuss where I want to take this blog.

The title of the blog should be a dead giveaway of what the blog will entail. It may not be much at the moment since I don't have anything new to show here but that should be changing in the very near future. I will be forcing myself to draw at least an hour a day for the rest of the foreseeable future which should be good for me. Next semester here in the windy city will have me taking part in three different studio classes and two of them will require me to use traditional materials. That means, for 14 hours every week I will be drawing/painting. If I can't draw at least one hour everyday, how can I possibly think that I want to be an artist?

Art means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. The standard definition of art is something that is deliberately created by man to achieve something outside of nature. For me, art is beauty. That is the simple idea at least. When I think of art I think of the old masters from the renaissance and the impressionists who were tired of showing the world as it is and decided to show what the world could look like through the lens of imagination. I can only hope and strive to make my art move people the way that these geniuses did hundreds of years ago.

Of course art is subjective and there are modern artists who have made me question my idea of art. I used to think that modern art was just a mess of ideas that meant next to nothing. After spending some time in the Art Institute I have come to see that art is many things and really does defy simple understanding. After learning this and finishing my first semester here at art school I want to experiment with art in a very different way.

Not being afraid of failure was definitely the hardest lesson to learn here during my first semester. The one coming in at a close second being that procrastination just isn't going to work. Now that I am fully aware of these things I think I can take my first steps toward making art that I am proud of. Here's hoping at least.

Michael

Amazon gift cards are awesome. Unless your someone like me

My wonderful mother got my brother and I Amazon gift cards as one of our gifts this Christmas. Normally, I love gift cards. They take all the hassle out of shopping for that PERFECT gift for the people in your life and they can't complain about getting the wrong thing. That sounds horrible, but that is why they are so popular.

I actually enjoy finding gifts that I think my family and friends will like. However, I'm a class A procrastinator. I don't do it on purpose, I don't think anyone does really, but I am really good at it.

Back to the topic at hand. Gift cards are normally pretty great, especially amazon gift cards. You can find anything at amazon, and that is where the problem lies. As a rule, I hate shopping. When I am buying things for other people it can be a lot of fun. When it's for me... well, I drive myself crazy. There a lot of things that I would like to get and I am only limited by the amount on the card.

What I ended up doing was buying 4 movies that I had seen about a million times. They are blu-ray so at least there is an upgrade and you can't really argue with good movies. The funny thing is, I did this while I was trying to type up this post. I guess it just finally made sense.

It only took me over a week.

Horay for throw away posts!

Michael

So, I started a blog

I guess this is just a place to put my real thoughts out there. I have a Facebook page, a deviantART account, a Myspace page (not that anyone actually cares about Myspace anymore) and perhaps one day a diaspora page.

Look up diaspora, it seems interesting.

So, it's the new year now. 2010 has come and gone. 2011 has just started and I did not go out and have fun on New Years eve. To be honest that really isn't my style. I would like to go out and have fun with a bunch of people, but that really isn't going to happen anytime soon. I'm not anti-social, I think, I'm just not that good at being social. To much posturing and false advertising for my taste. Of course, I have the tendency of being too honest and maybe that makes people uncomfortable. I don't know, I'm often to afraid to ask.

I just realized that Facebook and Myspace count as words in the Chrome word check. Not deviantART though, I guess it's not mainstream enough.

I guess my New Years resolution for 2011 is to try and stick with this blog. Oh, and stop procrastinating. I wrote it hear in my blog for all the world to see so I guess I should keep my word. Wouldn't want the whole world to think that I'm a liar.

The title for my blog may be a little misleading at first seeing as how I don't have much art to speak of at the moment. I will definitely get more of my creations up here whether they be good or bad, because that is what art is all about right? Create and release for the masses. At least, that is what I think it's about.

What is this blog about, really? Well, I will be sharing my thoughts and opinions about things that I find interesting. Whether it be movies, art, TV shows, books, people, events, and any other thing that happens to pique my curiosity. Feel free to comment, share, argue, and any other thing that people who read blogs do. This is all new to me and I will try to make this worth your time. Because wasting time is something I'm good at but I don't feel should be spread.

Time for sleep.